tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
