ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
This is my gift to your gina
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
