Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
