im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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