I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
