i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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