tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
