just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
sarcasm needs its own font
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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