so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I want to fling myself into the sun
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
