didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
