PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
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Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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