At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
