do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
