we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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