i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
