you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
