I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
