He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
