She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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