once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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