have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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