Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
