at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
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this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
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I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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