I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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