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Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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