She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize