I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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