just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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