Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
