Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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