I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
