I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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