this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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