I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize