I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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