thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
