well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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