cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
