YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
