She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
