My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
