ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
