God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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