i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
