rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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