Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize