It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
