ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
