you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She needs sedatives and a leash
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
