It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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