If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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