do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
