I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
