The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
