He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
