Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
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