my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
