I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
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