Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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