i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
