I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
