I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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