i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
i out mim tonsoeep
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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