I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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