did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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